i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
