He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize