I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
