Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
