it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
