he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Two words: blizzard sex
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
