you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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