Sacagawea was the original milf.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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