you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
