return my video game
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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