Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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