is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
