Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
