I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
