I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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