she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
