guys are only as good as the porn they watch
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
