He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
