I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
