hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
