he puts the penis in happiness.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Operation Purity has been aborted
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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