Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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