She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
