I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
