So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
