ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize