By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
