You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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