Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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