Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
