We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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