Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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