I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
How external is "for external use only"?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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