pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just want to make out with him forever
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
