she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
