Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
