you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
