Someone shit on the floor
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
