You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
