my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
