they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
