its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
