It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize