he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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