Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
