Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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