What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
