Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
