I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
