Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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