I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's never too late to be topless.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
