Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
