# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i drank out of a bidet.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize