Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
