dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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