I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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