With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
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