Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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