do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
