He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
