i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
