The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize