Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
