In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
