Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Sext me about skeletons
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
